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Why do the most conscious people avoid visits, parties, and busy crowds?
Yuval Harari offers a surprising perspective.
In this video, we explore the psychological and philosophical reasons why highly aware individuals often choose silence over noise, solitude over social obligations, and deep connection over shallow interaction.
You will discover:
• Why the mind becomes selective as awareness expands
• Why loneliness and isolation are not the same
• Why overstimulation harms conscious thinking
• How sensitivity, intuition, and inner clarity change our social choices
This is not about being antisocial — it’s about energy, perception, and the evolution of consciousness.
If you have ever felt “different” in crowded environments… this video will make everything make sense.
TRANSCRIPT
Have you ever wondered why some people seem to prefer solitude over intense
0:06
social interaction? Why while many constantly seek social events, parties,
0:12
gatherings, and crowds, others, often the most reflective and conscious, seem
0:19
to avoid these environments. Maybe you identify with this second
0:25
group and have questioned whether something is wrong with you. Whether you
0:30
should force yourself to socialize more, to enjoy parties, to dive into the
0:36
agitation of crowds as so many around you seem to do so easily. The truth is
0:44
that there is a deep connection between high levels of consciousness and a preference for solitude or more intimate
0:51
and meaningful social interactions. It is not about misanthropy or social
0:57
inadequacy but a fundamental characteristic of human consciousness in
1:03
its more expanded states. a characteristic rooted both in our
1:09
evolutionary history and in the particular configurations of the human brain. Today we will explore this
1:17
relationship and understand why the most conscious people often feel drained in
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socially intense environments and why this is not a flaw to be corrected but a
1:31
valuable characteristic to be understood and honored. Historically,
1:38
humanity lived most of its existence in small groups. For hundreds of thousands
1:45
of years, our ancestors lived in bands of hunter gatherers with no more than
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150 people. The famous Danbar number which represents the approximate
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cognitive limit of individuals with whom we can maintain stable social
2:06
relationships. In these small groups, each interaction
2:12
had meaning and purpose. You knew every person by name, knew their story, their
2:19
talents, their peculiarities. Communication was direct, contextualized,
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relevant. When your cousin talked about a successful hunt, it had immediate
2:30
implications for the group's survival. When a young woman talked about her
2:35
discoveries of medicinal plants, it could save lives in the near future.
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When an elder told stories around the fire, he transmitted essential knowledge for the survival and cultural cohesion
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of the group. Every conversation, every social exchange carried meaning,
2:57
purpose, and direct relevance for everyone involved. All of this began to
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change with the agricultural revolution about 12,000 years ago. As humans
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settled in permanent villages, then in cities, and eventually in metropolises,
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the size and complexity of our social networks grew exponentially.
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Suddenly, we were surrounded by strangers, people we knew nothing about,
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with whom we shared no stories or meaningful connections. And yet, our
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brains shaped by millions of years of evolution in small groups continued to
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function as if every person around us were a significant member of our tribe.
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This mismatch between our evolutionary programming and our social reality
3:53
created a constant stress that manifests in different ways in different people.
4:00
For many, this stress manifests as social anxiety, a constant feeling of
4:06
judgment and evaluation. For others, it creates an almost
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compulsive need to please, to conform, to seek social validation. And for a
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third group, those with higher levels of self-awareness and sensitivity,
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it manifests as rapid exhaustion in socially intense environments, a
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discomfort relieved only by returning to solitude
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or to very small social circles. But what exactly do we mean by more
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conscious people? I am not talking here only about intelligence or formal
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education. Although these factors may contribute. I am referring to a more
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fundamental quality of human experience. The ability to be fully present to
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observe both the external world and one's own mental processes with clarity
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and without excessive judgment. Highly conscious people tend to perceive more
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nuances in their environment and in their own emotional reactions.
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They notice subtle details in facial expressions, tone of voice, and body
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language that other people may completely ignore. They feel subtle
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changes in their own internal state, fluctuations of mood and energy that
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pass unnoticed by others. This expanded awareness has enormous advantages.
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It allows for a deeper understanding of oneself and others, facilitates genuine
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connections, and enables creative and intuitive insights. But it also comes
5:59
with a price. In socially intense and chaotic environments,
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these people receive far more information than they can comfortably
6:10
process. Imagine that your consciousness is like a flashlight.
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Most people have flashlights that illuminate a relatively narrow cone in
6:24
front of them. They clearly see what is directly in their field of attention but
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little beyond that. Highly conscious people on the other hand have
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flashlights that illuminate in all directions simultaneously
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in a calm environment. This is wonderful. It allows for a rich
6:48
and multiaceted appreciation of experience. But in a loud party or a
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crowd, it is like trying to watch a hundred televisions at the same time,
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all on different channels with the volume at maximum. Sensory overload is
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inevitable and quickly exhausting. This explains in part why highly conscious
7:13
people tend to avoid socially intense environments.
7:18
It is not that they dislike people or are antisocial. On the contrary, many of them deeply
7:26
value authentic and meaningful interpersonal connections. What they
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avoid is not people themselves, but contexts that make genuine connections
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almost impossible due to the overload of stimuli and the often superficial nature
7:45
of social interactions in large groups. A highly conscious person may have a
7:51
deep and energizing conversation for hours with a close friend, but feel
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exhausted after 20 minutes at a loud party where they are forced into
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superficial conversations with multiple people simultaneously. Modern technology has intensified this
8:13
phenomenon. We live in the most connected era in human history. The
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internet and social media allow us to interact with hundreds or even thousands
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of people daily, far beyond Danbar's limit. We receive constant
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notifications, messages, updates, comments, likes. Each digital
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interaction demands a small portion of our attention and emotional energy. For
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highly conscious people, this constant bombardment of social stimuli can be
8:51
particularly exhausting. They feel not only the need to respond but to respond
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authentically and meaningfully, something that becomes impossible when
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the volume of interactions exceeds our fundamental human capacity. In addition,
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the modern culture of spectacle and social performance amplifies the
9:16
discomfort. Social networks like Instagram, Tik Tok, and Facebook have created an environment
9:23
where each social interaction potentially becomes a performance for an
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invisible audience. We are not just interacting with the people in front of us but imagining how those interactions
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will be perceived by others who may see photos, videos or accounts later. This
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additional layer of self-awareness and performance makes social interactions
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even more draining for people who are already naturally very aware of
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themselves and their surroundings. Every party is not just a party but an
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opportunity to be photographed, filmed, evaluated, compared.
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Each interaction is not just a moment of human connection, but potential content
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for social media. For someone who already naturally processes many details
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and emotional nuances, this additional pressure can make modern social events
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simply unbearable. There is also an emotional sincerity factor to consider.
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Highly conscious people tend to value authenticity and congruence between
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their internal feelings and external expression. In many modern social
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contexts, especially those with many people, there is implicit pressure to maintain a
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facade of happiness and carefreeness, regardless of how we actually feel.
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Demonstrating enthusiasm, even when we do not genuinely feel it, is practically
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a social obligation at parties, corporate events, and many other social
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contexts. For people who value emotional sincerity, this mismatch between
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internal experience and external expression creates constant discomfort,
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a subtle form of self- betrayal that accumulates over time and drains
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emotional resources. There is also the issue of depth versus breadth in social
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relationships. Research in psychology has consistently shown that deep and meaningful
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relationships are one of the main factors for long-term well-being and
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happiness. Superficial interactions with many different people simply do not
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provide the same emotional satisfaction as intimate and authentic conversations
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with a few close friends. Highly conscious people seem to intuitit this
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truth and naturally prioritize depth over quantity in their social lives.
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They prefer to devote their limited time and emotional energy to nurturing a
12:23
small number of meaningful relationships rather than dispersing it in superficial
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interactions with many different people. This is not a failure of social
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adaptation but a psychologically healthy strategy that prioritizes
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quality over quantity meaning over stimulation. The philosopher Martin
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Buber made a fundamental distinction that is relevant here. He spoke of two
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main types of relationships. I it and I thou. In the I it
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relationship, we treat the other as an object, something to be used,
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categorized, manipulated for our ends. In the IO relationship, we meet the
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other as a full subject. We recognize their integral humanity, their
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irreducible otherness. Only in ether relationships do we experience true
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human connection. The problem is that many of our modern social interactions
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especially in large groups are predominantly I eat in nature. We
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socialize to network to impress to avoid being
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excluded to fulfill social obligations. People become means to ends not ends in
13:54
themselves. Highly conscious people tend to feel this relational emptiness particularly
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acutely and naturally seek contexts where genuine either relationships are
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possible typically in more intimate gatherings with a few people. There is
14:14
also a neurobiological dimension to this preference. Neuroscience research has
14:20
shown that approximately 15 to 20% of the population has a nervous system that
14:28
is genetically more sensitive and reactive. These people often called
14:34
highly sensitive persons or HSPs are more strongly affected by both
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positive and negative experiences. Their brains literally process information
14:48
more deeply, notice more nuances, and respond more intensely to sensory
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stimuli. This trait has clear evolutionary advantages.
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Highly sensitive people often demonstrate greater empathy, creativity,
15:07
and ability to detect subtle dangers. But it also means they reach the point
15:13
of sensory saturation much faster in stimulating environments like loud
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parties or crowds. For these people, avoiding socially intense environments
15:27
is not a whim or weakness, but a physiological self-regulation necessity
15:34
as legitimate as an introvert's need for alone time to recharge. And this brings
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us to another important factor, introversion. Although introversion and high
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consciousness are not the same thing, there is significant overlap.
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Introversion as defined by Jung and elaborated by modern researchers like
15:58
Susan Kaine is not necessarily shyness or social ineptitude,
16:04
but a psychological orientation where a person recharges energy in solitude and
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tends to lose energy in prolonged social interactions, especially with many
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people. It is estimated that between 30 to 50% of the population is primarily
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introverted. Although our culture, especially in the west, is strongly
16:30
biased toward valuing extroverted traits. Introverted and highly conscious
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people face a double challenge. They not only process more information
16:43
in social environments but also tend to become energetically drained more
16:50
quickly in these contexts. For them, limiting time in large social groups is
16:57
not a character flaw but a wise recognition of their own psychological
17:03
needs. I need to pause for a moment and ask you directly which aspect of this
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discussion about consciousness and social preferences resonates most with your personal
17:17
experience. Have you ever felt overwhelmed in intense social
17:22
environments and then questioned whether something was wrong with you? I know that many of us keep these reflections
17:29
to ourselves, perhaps out of fear of seeming antisocial or not fitting into
17:37
the extroverted ideal that our society values so much. But your experiences are
17:44
valid and probably shared by more people than you imagine. Share in the comments.
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I recognize myself in this discussion when your voice may help create a space
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where we can honestly discuss these experiences instead of suppressing or
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pathizing them. And perhaps by sharing these reflections together, we can begin
18:14
building a culture that equally honors different ways of being and existing in
18:20
the social world. Another important factor to consider is the question of meaning and purpose in social
18:28
interactions. Highly conscious people often have a strong need for meaning in their lives
18:35
and activities. When they engage in conversations or interactions,
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they tend to seek exchanges that in some way contribute to their growth,
18:48
understanding or genuine connection. Many of the social activities in our
18:54
culture, however, are structured around distraction,
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superficial entertainment, or simply passing time. There is nothing
19:04
inherently wrong with these lighter forms of socialization,
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and they certainly have their place in a balanced life. But for someone who
19:16
naturally gravitates toward depth and meaning, spending hours in conversations
19:23
about the weather, celebrity gossip, or other superficial topics may feel not
19:30
only boring, but existentially empty. a precious use of lifetime that could be
19:38
dedicated to more meaningful exchanges or inner cultivation through solitude.
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This is a crucial and often misunderstood point.
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The preference for less time in socially intense environments does not
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necessarily mean less meaningful human connection. On the contrary, many highly
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conscious people cultivate deep friendships, intense intimate
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relationships, and genuine connections with their community. What they avoid is
20:15
not human connection per se, but specific forms of socialization that
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prioritize quantity over quality, stimulation over meaning, conformity
20:27
over authenticity. Seen from this perspective, the tendency of these people to be selective about
20:35
their social environments does not reflect a deficit, but an intuitive
20:41
wisdom about what truly nourishes the human spirit. History offers us
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countless examples of highly conscious individuals who limited their exposure
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to large social groups to preserve their energy for meaningful creative or
20:58
contemplative work. From spiritual hermits such as the desert fathers and
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mothers in the early centuries of Christianity to artists like Emily
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Dickinson, France Kafka, Marcel P, philosophers like Vitkinstein
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or scientists like Newton and Einstein. Many of the brightest and most sensitive
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minds of humanity found it necessary to cultivate solitude and limit their
21:26
social interactions. This did not prevent them from making
21:32
profound contributions to human culture. On the contrary, this protection of
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their inner space and creative energy was often precisely what made those
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contributions possible. There is however a real danger in excessively
21:50
romanticizing isolation or pathizing the preference for more limited social
21:57
interactions. Humans are ultimately social creatures.
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Even the most introverted and reflective people need meaningful human connection
22:11
to flourish. Complete social isolation for long periods is harmful to virtually
22:18
anyone. The question is not whether we need social connection but what kind of
22:25
social connection nourishes different types of people in what dosage and in
22:32
which contexts. For highly conscious people, the answer often involves less
22:38
frequent but deeper interactions in environments with fewer sensory stimuli
22:45
with people with whom they can be completely authentic. Late modernity
22:51
with its emphasis on individualism, mobility and digital technology has
22:57
created both challenges and opportunities for highly conscious people who prefer more limited social
23:05
interactions. On one hand, the erosion of stable
23:11
traditional communities means that many people now need to work more actively to
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cultivate and maintain meaningful connections. We can no longer simply
23:22
rely on physical proximity and lasting family ties to provide social context as
23:29
our ancestors did for millennia. On the other hand, the same technology that
23:36
fragmented traditional communities also allows people with similar sensitivities
23:43
to find each other across great geographical distances. Highly conscious
23:49
individuals who might once have been seen as strangers in their local communities can now find tribes of
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likeminded spirits online, share experiences, mutually validate their
24:03
perceptions, and develop new social practices more aligned with their needs
24:10
and sensitivities. This raises important questions about the future of human
24:17
socialization in a world increasingly digitally connected but also
24:25
increasingly aware of neurological and psychological diversity. How can we
24:31
create social spaces that meet the needs of both people who thrive in highly
24:38
stimulating environments and those who prefer quieter, more focused
24:44
interactions? How can we develop a culture that equally honors extraversion and
24:51
introversion, typical sensory processing and high sensitivity, casual socialization and
24:58
deep connections? How can we learn to better read our own needs for connection
25:05
and solitude and respect those same rhythms in others? Perhaps a starting
25:12
point is questioning the dominant narrative that more socialization is
25:18
always better. Our culture, especially through advertising, entertainment, and
25:25
social media, constantly reinforces the idea that a good life is a socially busy
25:32
life filled with parties, events, group trips, and an everexpanding social
25:40
circle. The images we see of happy people almost always show them in groups
25:46
celebrating, traveling together. We rarely see positive representations
25:52
of solitude, contemplation, or deep but not numerous friendships.
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This one-dimensional view of the good life imposes an impossible standard for
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many people whose neurological and psychological needs are different and
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creates unnecessary pressure to conform to an ideal that may be actively harmful
26:19
to their well-being. We need to expand our cultural notions of a well-lived
26:25
life to include diverse patterns of socialization and solitude. There is no
26:32
universal formula for the right balance between social time and alone time,
26:39
between stimulation and tranquility, between breadth and depth in
26:44
relationships. Each person needs to discover their own rhythm based on their
26:50
unique needs, sensitivities, and circumstances. And each person deserves to have that
26:58
rhythm respected and validated by others. For highly conscious people who
27:04
recognize themselves in the preference for fewer socially intense events, perhaps the most important thing is to
27:11
free themselves from the guilt or shame that often accompanies this preference
27:18
in an extroverted culture. There is nothing wrong with needing more time
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alone, being overwhelmed at loud parties, preferring deep conversations
27:30
with a few friends over networking at large events. These are not flaws to be
27:36
corrected, but valuable aspects of their psychological makeup, intimately tied to
27:43
the same qualities of consciousness, sensitivity, and depth that allow them
27:50
to experience life with richness and nuance. By honoring these needs, you are
27:57
not isolating yourself from the world, but preparing to engage with it more
28:04
authentically, presently, and meaningfully in the contexts that work
28:10
best for you. As we move into an era of growing self-nowledge and deeper
28:16
understanding of human neurological diversity, we can expect a gradual shift
28:23
in social norms to better accommodate different styles of socialization.
28:29
We already see signs of this in more open discussions about introversion,
28:35
high sensitivity, and different styles of sensory processing. More people are
28:40
finding the courage to set healthy social boundaries, to decline
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invitations without feeling the need to invent elaborate excuses, to create
28:53
alternative social spaces that better meet their needs and those of similar
28:59
people. This is not a rejection of social life, but a more sophisticated
29:06
and individualized reformulation of what it means to be social, which honors both our
29:14
fundamental need for connection and our different capacities and preferences for
29:21
various types of interaction. Ultimately, the tendency of more conscious people to
29:28
limit their exposure to socially intense environments should not be seen as a
29:35
problem to be solved, but as a healthy adaptation to their unique needs. By
29:41
honoring these needs in ourselves and in others, we contribute to a more
29:48
inclusive culture that values diverse ways of being and connecting. Such a
29:54
culture would not only be fairer to neurodeiverse people, but also richer
30:00
for all of us, offering a wider range of possibilities for meaningful human
30:08
connection beyond the single model of socialization that currently dominates
30:15
our cultural imagination. If these ideas resonated with you, if you saw yourself
30:22
represented in this exploration of the relationship between heightened
30:29
consciousness and social preferences, know that you are not alone. Millions of
30:36
people around the world share similar experiences, although we rarely talk
30:42
about them openly. By subscribing to this channel, you will be part of a
30:48
growing community of people who seek to more deeply understand the complexities
30:54
of human experience, including our different needs and social preferences.
31:01
Each week we explore together these fundamental themes that shape our lives
31:07
and relationships, seeking not only theoretical understanding but practical wisdom to
31:14
live with more authenticity and purpose. This is not a journey of isolation but
31:21
of finding more meaningful and sustainable forms of connection both
31:28
with ourselves and with others. Subscribe so we can continue this
31:34
essential exploration of the many forms human consciousness can take and the
31:39
diverse ways we can honor our true natures in a world that doesn't always
31:46
understand them. To conclude, perhaps the most important message is this.
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Knowing yourself and honoring your own needs is not selfishness, but the
31:59
necessary foundation for authentic connections and meaningful contributions to the world. If you are one of these
32:06
highly conscious people who naturally gravitates toward less social
32:12
stimulation and more depth, there is no need to force yourself into a mold that
32:18
was not made for you. Instead, cultivate the special qualities that accompany
32:26
your heightened sensitivity, your expanded consciousness,
32:32
your preference for depth. The world does not need more people trying to fit
32:38
into patterns that do not honor their true nature. The world needs people
32:44
living authentically, bringing their unique qualities and special perceptions, whether in the company of
32:51
many or few, or in the creative solitude that nourishes the soul. For in the end,
32:59
it is not the quantity of our social interactions that gives meaning to human
33:04
life, but the quality of our presence both with others and with ourselves.
